this is it

Back Off Bitch

2010-01-12T18:02:00.000-07:00

jungle walking
street dancin
"they caught me in a coma and i dont thinnk i want to come to this world again
kinda like it in a coma"
"someone tell what the fuck id going ooooooooooooooooooooooon"

ringringringringringringring
grind

"its a miracle how long we can stay"
"2 IVs over here lets go.... come on we're about to lose this..."

crawling through the wreckage i advanced on a purple shadow. where are you, i whispered into the jungle, where are you.
no one's going to bother me anymore? is that what you said?
i told you, there's nothing to see. the crowd shifted to the next row of curdled blood.
vast expansions! i need more! more logs more timber! things are being built here and i cant see a damn thing!
what is this.
the ground went above my head, it kept rising and rising, i didn't move as i was surrounded by dirt towers erupting everywhere. Now we're getting somewhere! come on guy!
why the fuck would you want to live your life like it's a coma?

2010-01-09T18:52:00.001-07:00

honeymud

moneyhud
hudmoney
mudhoney

we went out and i did my first real tag. no matter how crappy. and tisty.

over it

2010-01-01T13:16:00.000-07:00

im sorry.
fucking stupid=me
have to get over my mind
have to get over my insecurities
when i cry a river i have to build a bridge and get fucking over it

you prove to me over and over how much you love me. your always there for me. and your always going to be there. you come with me when i go somewhere. and i always push it away. i doubt it. i forget about it. i never believe it. i hope i realize that i do believe it. in it. it. because you are amazing. youre never going to let go. your going to take care of me. thank you.
im sorry i broke so many ornaments and left you to clean up.
im sorry if i do this again.
i need to take control of myself.
i need to know what i see.
i need to calm down.
i need to relax.

i love you.

Gigantic fudge and apples.

2009-12-29T14:56:00.001-07:00

Finally left. Went on a trip with my man, of course we got lost. I always get lost, but I always know the way. Missed an exist? It was dark. the lights where blinding. The road slippery. The speed eternal. The hotel was full of snowmobilers, all there at 3 in the morning, all gone when we woke up. It was a double rape. The pool was too busy. The snow deep. Downtown was curt and spacious. It was a golden town with beautiful skies. Radiant hot springs and avalanche warnings. We stopped to burn the snow and washed away the ski track path. Then we went to see Avatar.

Avatar.
wicked movie!
wicked movie.

i'd tear out my eyes to see as you do

2009-12-22T02:03:00.000-07:00

for you, i'd swallow the ocean

2009-12-21T17:18:00.012-07:00

you are my baby, be a good boy.

2009-12-21T17:10:00.002-07:00

youtookmetoAFIonsaturdayandihadthebesttimeofmylife!!!!iloveyousomuchilovetlkingtoyouandlisteningtoyouandlookingathouandtouchingyouandfeelingyou.iknowyoudoto.ihopeyoualwaysstaytruetous.youaremybabyandillalwaystakecareofyou.causeyouaremybaby.muah!

Remember?

2009-12-08T13:24:00.003-07:00

LET'S MAKE IT HAPPEN

2009-12-08T13:21:00.003-07:00

2009-12-06T23:12:00.001-07:00

I HOPE YOU SLEEP TIGHT

2009-12-06T23:03:00.006-07:00

im sorry i dont knoww what to do have a good night

whats wrong is there anything i can do goodnight

i dont know i dont know I DONT KOW

I DONT KNOW

I FONT KNOW

I DONT KNOW

I DONT KNOW'

I DONT KNOW 'IDONT KNOW

I DONT KNOW

I DONT KNOW'I DONT KNOW

I DONT KNOW

JUST FUCKING HOLD ME AND HELP ME BECAUSE I DONT FUCKING KNOW I DONT WANT TO LOOK AT YOU CAUSE IM CRYING AND GROOS I DONT WANT TO ASK FOR HELP UNLESS YOU WANT TO GIVE IT AND I FUCKING WANT YOU TO SO JUST HELP ME AND HOLD ME CAUSE I DONT FUCKING KNOW

2009-11-07T00:43:00.001-07:00

knocked unconscious by a heavy blow

....

2009-11-07T00:42:00.001-07:00

stupid stupid stupis am i crazy gone bored bored sleep knock me out please

2009-11-07T00:40:00.002-07:00

fuck where am mi i miss you im acrazy

2009-11-07T00:40:00.001-07:00

fuck where am i i miss you im crazy

2009-11-05T13:02:00.003-07:00

get it over with and kill me

2009-10-09T09:32:00.001-06:00

i got butterflies again yesterday.

i hope i wasn't forcing them.

2009-10-05T18:19:00.003-06:00

so there was a pirate, with a wooden leg and an eye patch.

-so how did you lose the leg, he says

...a shark bit it off

love lovel ove lvove love love lov el ovl ovel ovel voel ovel ovel voe love l ovel ovelovel ovelove love

2009-10-04T00:10:00.002-06:00

Cold in life's throes.
I'll fall asleep for you.

i cant though because of you

2009-10-02T22:02:00.000-06:00

I came here by day,
but I left here in darkness
and found you, found you on the way.

Now, it is silver and silent.
It is silver and cold.
You in somber resplendence,
I hold...

Your sins into me,
oh, my beautiful one.
Your sins into me.
As a rapturous voice escapes
I will tremble a prayer
and I'll beg for forgiveness.
Your sins into me,
Your sins into me
oh, my beautiful one.

Light, like the flutter of wings,
feel your hollow voice rushing
into me as you're longing to sing.
So I,I will paint you in silver.
I will wrap you in cold.
I will lift up your voice as I sink.

Your sins into me,
oh, my beautiful one, now
Your sins into me.
As a rapturous voice escapes
I will tremble a prayer
and I'll beg for forgiveness.
Your sins into me,
Your sins into me

Cold in life's throes.
I'll fall asleep for you.
Cold in life's throes.
I only ask you turn away.
Cold in life's throes.
I'll fall asleep for you.
Cold in life's throes
I only ask you turn
as they seep into me,
oh, my beautiful one, now...

Your sins into me,
oh, my beautiful one.
Your sins into me.
As a rapturous voice escapes
I will tremble a prayer
and I'll beg for forgiveness.
Your sins into me,
Your sins into me

Your sins into me,
oh, my beautiful one, now
Your sins into me.
As a rapturous voice escapes
I will tremble a prayer
and I'll beg for forgiveness.
Your sins into me,
Your sins into...
Your sins into me
Oh my beautiful one

afi

quit

2009-10-02T20:08:00.002-06:00

i did it again yesterday. twice this week. i havent in a long time. i probably will again tonight.

friday

2009-10-02T20:06:00.002-06:00

i thought i was going to have fun today. my fortune cookie said so.

2009-09-30T19:04:00.000-06:00

why wont my pictures shrink.?.?.

maybe its the safari

2009-09-30T19:02:00.001-06:00

fuck me

think too much

to deep into things

now

look

what

happened

2009-09-30T18:30:00.003-06:00

2009-09-30T18:24:00.001-06:00

associate- connect with -a person, a concept, a past, an idea

you confuse me, confuse me,

Disruptions.

i dont like it

i do love you

2009-09-30T18:19:00.003-06:00

i don't associate with you but i really want to

2009-09-30T18:10:00.005-06:00

fuck this im sick

sick

sick - people who are sick; "they devote their lives to caring for the sick"

...never thought of that before...google it google it, ogle it, disrupt it, carry it to that undying life that reeks of disruptions and shivering bones, spit on the curl of selflessness-selfisness- contempt? content? under the sea, past the rocks and sand, its there, i swear, just look harder. did you count them? i counted three so far. drinking glass drinking sounds. drinking. am i jealouse?

maybe.

2009-09-30T18:06:00.004-06:00

i hate sex drugs and rock n roll.

surprised.

shit.

ahhhh!!!! im making them black but they wont disappear anymore!!!!

um... ah...um..... oooh.... uptgg?...

2009-09-23T22:48:00.004-06:00

":":{P{@:!?~~?~"?~{_+_~:{~"~>~>"~>~">~"

AFDGRGDG?!?!?!?!?!?!R#?$Y$%@?$?IKYMJGHFG?W!??R$ETRWHAT!?!#DB?@?

WERTTHQ!#$@??$?@?#?%?$:"%?><>

i am a monster

i am a mnister

i wm a monster

i am nmonster

i mam a mkster

i am a m onster

i am a moster

am a monster

i am a monster

i am am mistaken

monster are born of selfish insequrity

insicurity is tainted by love

no wait

its the other way.

its over there i have to turn right

i always turn left always tur left turn left always turn left

the sun was born

the son was born

deal with deal with it

deal with it you

survived

i am a amonster

i am a monster

i am am m onste

i am a monster

i ama s maonster

i wma am monster

i am a monster

a delted since, plac ehere

where it it go all the...

where is the...

where did the...

...go?

what am i looking for again? what am i looking for again?

restraint chase vulgar promiscuouse passion catch watch pursue lure want desire lust

lust lust lust lust lust

promised passion chase get get take take take me me me lust

i am a monster

i am am inster’

i am am at monster

i a m ama mdsibt

i ai dmsto

i am am nster

i am amonster

i am a monster

i am real yes i do i do i do i do

do you?

dont you?

where did the...

where is...

whare are you

2009-09-23T22:30:00.006-06:00

oh my geez

its been too long

oh my geez

not just blogger

2009-08-20T23:19:00.000-06:00

2009-08-20T23:15:00.000-06:00

2009-08-17T18:53:00.000-06:00

Bayview Ext

2009-08-13T00:49:00.008-06:00

life's a rush

I'm So Excited

changing balls.

2009-08-12T01:37:00.004-06:00

got back yesterday
- my family is missing out on me
- I miss my friends but it's Ok
-Uni in 2 weeks
- moving with my man aug 31!
- looking a pictures -> happy and sad
- i feel left out but i know im not really there
- stepping closer
- no support there but i have it here
- back to the world and i realize how much there is how much ill miss how foward im going
- zombies get stuck when their hearts start beating
- maybe ill start writing again soon
- will be very busy though

2009-06-21T11:23:00.003-06:00

in the corner of your room you stockpiled millions of my memories
i must have gotten sick somehow

do i make you cry?
oops

did she get tired or did she just get lazy

2009-05-28T20:14:00.003-06:00

When I breath it gets sucked away because i have no lungs,
there's too many stones I'm just not a part of.
i open my eyes and I'm blinded by
all the light taking over my darkness
I hide in shadows but I really just
want to run free with wild hair
And when someone cares so much
my attempts are not enough to divour.
And when someone holds me with tenderness,
desperation, importance, like the world, i look
around and see prettier stones and

I'm just a rock

this avalanche of love and skin

2009-05-28T20:05:00.004-06:00

crooked fingers on a crooked face

why do people stay? because they are comfortable with the love they have?
because they don't know anything else? so young to be comited to a monster,
but i guess only the new ones get caught. i want to help you, i want to tell you
to run, stand up and run.
when your in a relationship evaluate your happiness, what makes it what
holds it back. you don't want someone who rules over you do you? i don't
know you but i don't think you deserve that. your past is your past. move on.
start new things. i don't think your horrible.

get out of abusive relationships.

get out of controlling relationships.

get out of unhappiness because happiness is somewhere.

relationships include:
you+ someone
you+ something
you+ somewhere

not happy, its hard, the hardest thing, but stand up and run

Flood over an empire

2009-05-28T19:55:00.002-06:00

Under the laughing voices
I'm a killer whale
burning down cities in my mind
I see colors while you pretend
to be oblivious.
Into the sunrise, after the sunset,
machete grass cares and
a particularly light weight universe
will show what will become of us.

Under the choking fire
I'm a coal alight
washing over hurried harbors
baring each tree of bark
as they grow beside me.
Wavering under the ropes every
capture comes upholding those images
where I see colors while you pretend
to be oblivious.

2009-05-27T21:16:00.000-06:00

9:16 , there's so much to do, i don't know what to do

I taste your sentiment

2009-05-27T20:25:00.003-06:00

I'll be a perfect storm, ill capture you,
pouring my jagged shards
I'll be a tempting monster, mesmerize you
capture you, predict a coming rage

I'll be a wondrous field, with you
consumed in my vast fire
I'll be a catastrophic element healing your every need
When i grow up, a radiant empire

I'll be a soothing kiss, swallowing your air
this love will conquer
I'll be your only desire, addictive eternity
Seeing like no other

orca wintersleep

missin you missin me

2009-05-20T14:46:00.001-06:00

we're both tired, we both need a brake
i miss you
times are too busy right now
soon though

Freedom Exists

2009-05-15T18:24:00.003-06:00

Jess i truly believe you can set me free. You have this youth in your heart and it's bringing me somewhere where i've always been afraid to go to. You grab me by the hand and drag me even if i don't want to go. You know what i need and you know my weaknesses and you're not afraid to push me past them. Thank you curly #2.

Stay with me, we will be friends forever.
I would write more cause i have so much to say, but we gotta go eat!!!!

living in the woods with you

2009-04-22T21:10:00.004-06:00

i don't ever want to know what becomes of the broken hearted

so many dreams i've dreamt with you, but the sweetest dream will never do

open lips, white knuckles

2009-04-07T21:11:00.004-06:00

consumed with whats to transpire
-kings of leon
i'm on fire

candle lit pic-nic

2009-04-07T19:36:00.004-06:00

you gave me purple tulips

you gave me everything

tranquility

2009-04-07T01:06:00.004-06:00

tea is nice

so is sleep

i like where im headin

everybody bring something, let's go on a pic-nic

2009-03-30T10:44:00.006-06:00

you bring me knowledge, you bring me awerness, you bring me acceptance, peace and laughter. you will never read this.

you bring me contemplation, you bring me thoughts, you bring me silent words and smiles. you probably already know this.

you bring me devastation, i know what i don't want. you bring me sadness i don't see. do you know?

you bring me childish play and conversation. you provoke sadness and uncertainty. You get me.

you bring love and you bring passion. you bring me to my world of everything. you bring me peace and trouble, you bring me smiles and tears, you bring me a soul and you bring me the sun. You know me and you know this.

2009-03-29T23:20:00.006-06:00

there must be an angel with a smile on her face when she thought up that i should be with you
-james blunt

its hard to believe, but you remember me
we're running wild with each other, sleeping peacefully with each other and we are
we are all and we are living
we are the flowers hesitation and the flowers bloom,
i am fear and i am courage, you are the legs holding me up, the hand lifting my chin,
you are my tears and smiles.
you touch my heart and you touch my soul
love is blind but i hope we have eyes.
remember me.

you light up the shores for me
i'm running high beside you and the tide's rising
i'm exploding around you and my worlds cracking
its hard to believe, but you remember me.

i get confused and i get doubtful, i'm too young for bravery but hold on to me if i waver
hold on to me when i fall and when i crash
please be my bravery and hold me when i'm lost
i know its true and i know its right. i feel it the whole time. but i don't know how to get there so
please hold me when i fall and when i crash
hold me when i run and when i hide
pull it out of me and hold me when i cry
please be my bravery, i'll be yours, i know you need it too

i step out of my mind and i miss signs, i see wrong directions
too much time alone and i keep you but lose myself
hold on tight
i step out of my mind and need you to let me back in

i lost myself this week
it was horrible because i was scarred of losing you too
hold on to me because im scarred, dont let me let go, i can't let go
its hard to believe, but you remember me
we're the fire, the fear and the bravery

all hopes for us

2009-03-15T13:58:00.006-06:00

all hopes of us.
all metallic roads and vibrant lights and colorful sights.
burn down the sees and light the trees, smash the rocks and flood the skies,
shake the universe until we fall out. only we fall out.
then put us anywhere and I'll call it home. scorn worlds and hurt bodies are just fine as long as your mine and home is together.
burn the sees until all is black and there's nothing left. light the trees until all is dead and the air is grey. smash the rocks on my joints and blind me from the sky.
i can never be taken away
j and k

the world may end, but we wont.

the spirit was leaving

2009-03-14T19:55:00.002-06:00

with you here my road becomes so clear, roller coaster butterflies last forever, when you're near the fears disappear and lights appear.
when you're gone, neon worlds withdrawn, walls are drawn and I'm misplaced, home is far and i've gone astray on the freeway.
you can feel it in my mind,
all knots unwind when you are near.
you can see it on my face,
and trace it to my eyes.
in my eyes are pictures of us.
us on an island
an island of us

you're right, you do repulse me

2009-02-18T19:23:00.004-07:00

the first thing you see is the bad

it blinds you

it distracts you

it makes you angry

it makes you cry

it takes away

it deceives

it takes over

until I die
then there's nothing left

cuffed

2009-02-12T10:17:00.002-07:00

2009-02-10T21:13:00.001-07:00

Where are you!?

i see us

2009-02-08T19:57:00.007-07:00

Tears down both our faces. Scarred of different things. Uncertainty. New. Different.
The city was broken and all was blurred with certainty.

I love you.

I sat and I saw. I was sitting on a stool. I was seeing him.

Not three seconds had gone by and I knew.

Right then, in that moment. He had no idea I was watching him, no idea how many expressions crossed his face. Not three seconds had gone by and I knew. Every expression crossing his crossed mine. He was playing pool, who knows what he was thinking I wasn’t playing anything and I was thinking too. But it didn’t even matter because we were both feeling. Third second, he looked at me. I smiled.

We sat together. Doing nothing. Doing everything. I was a mess. He fixed it. He was a mess. I fixed it. We were a mess. We sat and still saw. We saw the future. The future was ours. Will you….? Yes. Tears mixed with laughter. One of those moments. It was our life. "I knew…" "So did I." "Have you ever…?" "Not until you." "I knew since that day when…" I love you.

Life grew where we sat.

We were tired. We were restless. I left you. You left me. I love you.

We came back.

2009-01-30T01:17:00.007-07:00

twist is a good word for us

twistingby
slightlytwisted
korn
twisting can hurt, it can also be fun
stretch
im twisted.... i think you're twisted too
twist-tie

2009-01-30T01:11:00.004-07:00

you see what can't be seen
you repair the damage done to me
You run your fingers through my hairAnd tell me it´s worthwhile, it´s all worthwhileEven when I hate myselfEven when I feel your pain when you cryEven when my heart is coldYou assure me it´s worthwhile, it´s all worthwhileYou see what can´t be seenYou repair the damage done to me.. -apoptigma berzerk

2009-01-30T01:06:00.002-07:00

can't control myself

Drive my soul anywhere

2009-01-24T20:47:00.005-07:00

Drive my soul to wicked wars, away from evil tragedies and disgraceful disasters. Take me to a place of light and love and I'll take you there myself. We'll open up each box and pull out the guns, then we'll tear down the walls and paint them every colour. The swords will be in a compartment underneath just for us so we can start to change our youth together. We'll always have it even while it's moving, always getting better and better. We'll start fires in every disco in town and our touches will charge the lights of the world. If the moon goes out and the road turns to a minefield, our kisses will light the sides. Take everything you want from me, I'll share mine and you'll share yours. We'll move along in the early morning, our shadows still tasting the dark and holding rings. Burning emotions ease our passing through the moving oceans and at the other side drums sing and we grow for eternity. In the earth lies rain and we can swim with the electric feel. The phones stopped ringing because we didn't need them, the calls were ignored because we only saw the sun and only saw the moon. Passing by several shapes all marked by our sign, we smile, they're everywhere, all around. Do what you feel.

watch the vid here, it sucks... but i love you

2009-01-20T23:02:00.002-07:00

"You make the darkness disappear
I feel found when you stay near
I know where I am when you are here
My way becomes so clear

When you're gone
Will I lose control?
You're the only road I know
You show me where to go"
-lights

2009-01-19T23:06:00.003-07:00

this could be me falling. but as the world falls away, you and me are still us. if i fall you will catch me. if you fall, i will catch you. but we wont fall. its possible. we could fall. anybody could fall. but we wont. because we're us.

little black book number 2

2009-01-19T22:42:00.004-07:00

let me be all the words.
Invite me to your memory
and share your world with me.
Let me be all the worlds,
radiating everything,
entities, souls and hearts
wake next to you after
warm dreams and fall
into light caves
all over again.
This is modernly epic.
Invite me to your memory
with our tangle of tangible
moments. Our dreams
seem not far away
as we keep falling
be my world and i'll be yours

little black book-freaks

2009-01-19T22:30:00.005-07:00

something's been given to me. I smile in vain every night because taking something wonderful is difficult. I hope it's mine to take. We're freaks on a lease. maybe we'll buy a house.
meant to be. needily. needily is so a word!
... i guess it is. holy shit baby!AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHAHAHAHAHHHHHH

........eep

so this is it. and it is the best it in all existence and in non existance.

2009-01-17T19:18:00.006-07:00

"All I ever wanted,
all I ever needed,
is here in my arms.
Words are very unnecessary," depeche mode
but I needed them that one time. you gave them, but it wouldn't satisfy. then you held me and you looked at me, and i realized words are very unnecessary. theyre still nice to have and hear, but i don't need them. i just need that hold and that look.
here we are babe, exploding with each other.
enabling new growths, aromas, gardens, enchanted dreams, is what we are. you and me. did you get it?

2008-12-28T23:30:00.003-07:00

Start letting my armor fall again
giving me the strength to take them
I've let my life take over me
making me selfish in this.
I can see the stars, and I'm not letting go.
I've found eternity and now I'm rushed to hold on to it.
Nothing can take over my mind, I've finally found it in the night.
I'm in a world beyond controlling, I can't be contained so stop denying the savior in front of your eyes.
Find me in the night where i found eternity.

i saw a constellation for the first time, all on my own

2008-12-21T11:53:00.003-07:00

right now my reality IS freakn great!
rose buds, do you remember my colour/time sequence? i liked the orange. it was cool. it relaly doesnt matter though. as long as you know me...
dlfjlsdjflsd
ah
i need to hit something in excited umph

Skipping

2008-12-21T11:52:00.000-07:00

HERE YOU GO i found this...... maybe ive already posted it... oops

Can't take the natural move of things becasue from a humans view it moves to slowly
We all creat our own change generlizing humanity with one big disaster
but personal change can move just as quickly and can burn just as many trees and can love just as many people destroyed and more
Frantic desperation to get to class pushes you into the streets becasue those generic occupations are too great for the reality we scarcely see.
Reality is killing sprees,mislead misery, lonley hands, curved lines faking straight
Reality is loved ones, supporting strangers, helping hands made without security or promises
Reality is killing us because we are all great

no eyes on the back of my head.

2008-12-21T02:19:00.003-07:00

i'm fully in now. i can definitely get hurt now.... oops i typed 'not' instead of 'now'. so maybe its true.
dark winter nights are marvelous, no matter what. you know that.
so are light foggy mornings. i know that
our tree is up and you made it light up.i hope i did something too
no branches, holds alot, stands crooked no past, so much, everywhere but down
its the best tree

my tree

2008-12-17T20:25:00.003-07:00

this aint it but its close. now picture busy streets around it. picture it tall and wide and spreading. its not a birch. but i like this. picture white bark and pink tainted leaves. coloures in spots of brown. unkown canopies and unknown lives. intentions are useless. just people and just feelings.

2008-12-13T19:27:00.002-07:00

i ran to you this morning. i wanted to see you
i needed it.

i never imagined it would be like this.
any of it.

i find you hard to describe.
you don't let words come to me. they normally do.
so ill show you a picture too.

do you see how its growing?
the colours?
do you see the leaves?
its leaning a bit...
i wonder where

i typed something in deviant art and i found that heart. maybe our words are the same then

2008-12-13T19:19:00.003-07:00

you are all around me, but ultimately im all alone.
everybody is. and thats ok
i still like having you there though. it keeps me company.

lose

2008-12-13T19:16:00.002-07:00

You only quote these lines but I'll be fine. I'll only recite mine until I'm gone without a trace. It's just a matter of time. - Blaqk Audio

you said I've got nothing to hide and less to lose
but I have so much more to lose, and you won't find me gone
I'll leave traces around you forever
if you can't take it, i can't take seeing you
but i need you at least a little and you need me, i know ive done fine on my own though

And so

I know its only life
do as I please because im done hiding, but now you're bringing me back a step
i've got nothing to hide but everything to lose
you want lies and hidden doors
you'll get lies and open chores because i don't have a key to lock it
Understanding isn't going to change me

im so empty. you dont fill me anymore.
im doing this for you

2008-12-10T21:49:00.005-07:00

i don't think your having this exact dream, but this ones damn cool
im liking baths more and more, maybe i just need them now

2008-12-10T21:47:00.001-07:00

i think im happy, i think im ok.
:p
:)

Give it to me

2008-12-04T18:38:00.004-07:00

created in english today with help by disturbed

Give it to me
We told them, we want everything.
take my life away until there's nothing inside.
tell me there's no way, nothing is right.
When does it matter if in this moment we have everything
Why do souls freeze if in this moment I smile a thousand times
Does it really matter?
Can't you let me be, different from you.
Hope is alright, hope is great,
Your wayward ways are not mine.
Your omnipotent diminutive face is not mine.

"Guarding yourself from the death of another" is not going to work this time.
Guarding yourself from the life of your child is not right tonight.
Your flaxen guilt is separate from mine
and your leathered hands are always behind
I'm dropping bombs in your world so stop sweaping mine.

Recognition, ventilation, indication.
I'm alive, running into hot spots and falling into cold ones.
This is how I want it and how it works for me.
I break too many plates and I drop too many rates,
but when I leave maybe you'll trust me one day and remember my name.
Give it to me

need a plug

2008-12-02T12:34:00.002-07:00

ordeals reveal alot about a person. it doesn't matter though, because whether you've learned new shocking dissapointing exciting or amazing things, they are still the same. people are always changing, so see the present, accept the past and wait for the future. yesterday i was lost, tomorow i could be anything, but right now im calm.
because i know i am me, and i know that me is good.

unbottoned coats are always the prettiest right?
and closed boxes are always a surprise.

uncharged battery, its dying. need a plug

2008-11-29T01:58:00.002-07:00

i just wrote a long thing to you. well i guess it could have been for anyone, but it was for you because everyone else knows what i wrote already.
i started off responding to you. just words. bu then it turn to a self exploration revealing type thing. becasue i want you to know the randomest and important things about me. just facts and ideas of who i am. but i know you dont ask me questions. so you better figure out on your own. its better like that. i want you to learn things about me and understand it on your own without me telling you straight up. which i tend to do alot.
so i deleted it.
... and i guess i felt the need to explain
k. see ya in a bit.

torture me

2008-11-27T23:54:00.003-07:00

come save me
You make my ground shake
You see me in new ways when I'm blind to myself,
only sometimes sure of myself
But I see you too
I want to know you too
I want to hold you while you become my own salvation
meant to be right now,
the mutilations, abominations, hallucinations and our creations.
combinations alter our visions as our numbers are misplaced,
and the normal pace is the last thought, everything's replaced.
Hand it over.
You see what i don't and I see differently.
Do you understand my words?
Herds of chords and jumbled reality?
leave loopholes behind
the truth won't hurt me, the truth will relieve me.
torture me.
come to me.
Fortunately it's all I know. I'm not special.

we all like to think we are, but nobody is. except maybe to a few individuals

wrote this in english today

2008-11-25T19:09:00.002-07:00

i wrote something but i was trying to hard.
lets let the words come on their own when they come

hey gangsta

2008-11-24T23:25:00.006-07:00

Maybe he will dance with me.
Anyway you want it baby.
Anyway you want it, we'll do everything.
"i was alone, i never knew what this could do
all night baby, hold tight"

peculiar it seems, seems is an uncertain word.
tragedy comes when you least expect it, cries your eyes cold.
and marvels marble.
they make you trip and help you stand up.
marvels are marvelous, smile your lips naturally.
they come as an unexpected invite and warm your bones.
Only want to dance with you right now, shuffle and shake and sway.
Bright lights blind me as you guide me onto the floor
Swing me away and follow me this way,
lets play in the dark and step through the door.
Danger, danger, High VOltage
Ride with me and we'll get out of the ditch
Caution, no trespassing
we'll jump the fence and tune out for a while
just us
so bust a rhyme

YO HOME SLICE
WHY DONT YA CLICK DA TITLE
GANGSTA GANGSTA, THIS IS IT
AINT IT?

ahahah i make myself laugh
seriously though. wow. you.

2008-11-20T22:50:00.005-07:00

life is great.
so why did i do it?

you want to stop the smokes and i want to stop the binge.
we have to purge it from our lives. let it go. live without it.

i wonder how many you had today? i had 3...
theyre both the same. you start for a reason and then it just becomes habit.

im doing good and then i brake. then i try again and then i brake. i hate fucking braking.
ill just be invisible and maybe that will work

'night hun

2008-11-19T23:12:00.003-07:00

a bit intimate? almost intimate at one moment? or am i just a liar?

will you ever read this?

2008-11-17T18:51:00.003-07:00

You wrote a song about me.

I want to write, I do all the time
You wrote a song about me,
But I cant seem to find an incline.

I want to tell you what’s inside
So look into my eyes and try and read my mind.
Good words never come out when I try,
Only sorrowed descriptions of my life.
But this is huge, this is good
You’re here now and I won’t hide inside

I love to make you laugh,
even when caused by my stupid remarks.
I love snowfights in the park,
leaving our mark as we lurk in the dark.

We’re going to have adventures no matter how far we get
So lurk with me and talk with me. Hold me and let go with me.
This is huge, this is good
You’re here now and I won’t hide inside

When we talk basics lets follow our lives
But when we talk kung fu lets follow each other.
Acting on impulse and playing with knives
I know I’m not bad ass but I hope you don’t mind

We’re going to have adventures no matter how far we get
So lurk with me and talk with me. Hold me and let go with me.
This is huge, this is good
You’re here now and I won’t hide inside
Don’t let me hide inside

2008-11-17T12:33:00.001-07:00

can't think too much about it. just be me.

your eyes are

2008-11-14T00:10:00.004-07:00

today was different. today was more.
fill me with more until I explode.
I know what colour your eyes are.
I know you've had worse and I know you've had better.
You must have because I've had nothing.
But now I have you and I keep rolling.
WHO are you.
I feel safer I feel wanted when you look at me and when you hold me.
Flick. See. BITE.
I'm walking on an unbelievable path.
Flick. See. BITE.
I want to paint it electric blue
and I want to taint it florescent yellow

I just met you. I know nothing of you.
Kill me tomorrow or brake me yesterday.
The sorrows gone and not even matters play.
Just you and me and maybe we're only desperately at hand.
I like you. I've made it obvious haven't I?

you have to blast it [click here]

2008-11-12T22:35:00.002-07:00

this makes me quail in excitement, masks make me want to jump you sooner. do you understand?
want to know you.
you came rushing at me from that empty void.
you came to me unexpectedly sporadically and amazingly,
it's good. all unknown still unknown always unknowingly it's right,
it's good. subliminal messages are my mind, my mind is here and now.
how great could this be? open myself without a key
i hope he tells me the truth because my insecurities never know a thing. whether you actually want me or not, just tell me. i can take it.
.just tell me what you really want and i can tell you what I want. because i can never believe what anybody tells me. i wish i could.

let the love flow

2008-11-12T19:59:00.002-07:00

"Amazing" is a song performed by American hard rock band Aerosmith. It was written by lead singer Steven Tyler and songwriting collaborator and band friend Richie Supa. It was released in 1993 as the fourth single from their successful album Get a Grip. ...

Amazing: Causing wonder and amazement; possessing uniquely wonderful qualities.

Awesome is a sci-fi action video game released by Psygnosis for the Amiga and Atari ST in 1990. It featured a variety of gameplay styles, from overhead shooter to Asteroids-esque sequences, and a prerendered ray-traced intro sequence. The antagonist of the game is John Awesome.

Awesome: Causing awe or terror; inspiring wonder or excitement; Excellent, exciting, remarkable

ponder me now, hungry. i want you to do what you want to me. You hunger to taste me but I can't seem to read the menu. Shivering now. Quivering now. Delivering now. Curl, role and addict to it. Ponder me now. I want you to ravage me. You show me you want to but I'm still blind to it all.
insistence, persistence, submission, existence.
maybe you should re-examen my high. maybe you won't find me when i hide. but i want you to. i want to. Look at me and see me melt. Your touch is inhaled and your eyes impale mine.
your touch beyond the veil and your eyes graze each tale so ravage me and hold me tight.

2008-11-12T13:33:00.003-07:00

that last post....thankyou pet

righteous rhinoceros fuck this aint working...cant write shit. ok fine.
im too happy to write i guess...still kind of sore...lol fuck whaever

2008-11-12T13:24:00.002-07:00

Go fuck a duck bye.
thanx Pet -you know i love you

fly fly fly im packing tomorrow

2008-11-08T22:49:00.002-07:00

guess what i did today

make me glow, though i have trouble believing it.
cracks in the past lead to cracks in my mind.
(dead man walking) -d bowie
cracks on my skin lead to cracks in my veins
(remember to dream) -me
when you sleep and im the only one, ill walk alone
ill go past those places and ill remember,
because im always dreaming

cut-offs dont congregate we only erect pretty buildings

2008-11-05T20:40:00.002-07:00

hmmm my blogs lately are pretty boring and not too poemy. i guess ill fix that eventually

fix it with me
there i deleted some posts that i dont feel like sharing anymore

sharp rocks

2008-11-03T21:33:00.007-07:00

need to puke
need to bleed
need to cry
but i can't make it come out
i can't stand it but i cant seem to change myself, i was almost there, to the healthy point, but then i fell apart. sharp rocks. i am going insane. insane. going in. its not enough. im not enough for myself and i hunger for more. all of the time hungry. all of the time looking for a different ache because this pain has lasted to long. keep eating it all up even if its shit because its thre and ill take all i can. squint with these wet eyes making them poor becausae they wont on their own. who can i be if not myself so change me now but i cant seem to. bullits ultimately lead icicles more into a craze. my words are figurative acute and transparent. i hate it. why can't i just be or just change.
holy fuck its almost like food.

can you see the hidden msg?

2008-11-03T20:35:00.005-07:00

my interior is filled with wrong

2008-10-21T22:10:00.003-06:00

b (not the usual b)

2008-10-21T21:49:00.002-06:00

i guess i feel better now.
resentful? always i guess.
sucks that it bothers me now.
but no biggie

ff

2008-10-21T19:48:00.002-06:00

im a horribe person.
right when you did that it happened. so much of it too.
and i just laughed.

cant stop laughing

2008-10-21T19:31:00.003-06:00

I'm burried in people.

choke
cough out faces.
drown in hair.
All I see are thoughts.
and all I breath is lies.
slowly recall your mind
I Rise to a surface of arms

Significant

2008-10-21T19:03:00.003-06:00

wrote this in english today while listening to....wow! Disturbed! AGAIN so this is a different topic than the last. make no connection, but keep the concoction, because maybe ill find out how much they coincide.

It's significant.
Can you feel it?
Chemical reactions blurring my way.
But it's time to play so bring the dominance

It's significant
life, can you feel it?
Are you ready to play? the Game's on.
You're standing there, stop blocking my way.
Just bring the dominance and I'll surrender
just show me the dominance and I'll stop pulling and fighting. with this significance you'll have me trapped
where i want to be

2008-10-21T19:00:00.002-06:00

why am i so angry with everyone except potatoes? if you read this i love you. if you read this i hate you.
harsh? ya
does it bother you? im sorry
can you help it? i cant

its just my mood lately. do you understand?